I MISS MY ANGRY NY!!!!

The emotional temperament of the German leaves a lot to be desired.  Gone are the days of random arguments on the subway with unhinged homeless men. If there are yuppie lawyers screaming in pain for the MTA to go to hell, I have sadly bared no witness. An IPOD being worn by a dangerous looking man blaring the news report from Hell 2 inches from my silence starved ears is sorely missed.  Mr. “I Take-Up-Four-Seats-So-Fuck-You” man talking on the phone about how he “fucked her good” with an absolute absence of shame must be hiding just around the corner, but has yet to be identified.  The other day, I thought I had spotted “Too-Important-Too-Hot–Black-Sunglass-Wearing-Mean Girls-Cast Member” rocking her suede boots but she began petting my dog obsessively and with great care after 10 minutes. Fraud.  Ms. “Too -Important-too communicate-or-acknowledge- the- existence-of- you-mere-mortals” girl turned out to be Ms “Thank-You- For -Identifying –The- Fact- That-I-Left –My-Economist Magazine- On –The- Seat” women. Impostor.  Mr. “I’m-fucking-hard-and-am-going- to- stare-at-you-like- I -killed someone” dude turned out to be Mr. “I'm -fucking -drunk-and- will- vomit-in-the- trash- bin- as- soon-as I –get-off-this- train” guy which happened as soon as he got off the train. I miss my troubled meth heads!!  I must confess to sociological discrimination in these instances, but I am desperate.  My false accusations are a cry for help.  The drunk Turks in this country can’t replace the bent Ecuadorians spontaneously breaking into song on the 7 train. The dangerous looking drug addicts here, don’t really instill a true sense of fear; I know they are not capable of turning  the situation into a Criminal Minds episode.  They are all too well taken care of by the social services in this country.  A beggar respectfully approached me the other day on the bahnhof and I actually laughed out loud at his  civil demeanor.  Come on man!! Push me!! Demand I give you at least 5 dollars! Being so angered at his insolence, I broke into an impromptu tutorial about how to beg properly. 

Sitting in an uncramped train at rush hour that doesn’t smell of vomit is sad. The half  legible intercom announcements joyfully  proclaiming the F train will be 20 minutes late ONLY after already waiting 15 minutes is no more. Now I have to deal with a too efficient system of live updates clearing visible just above eye level.  What happened to having to earn your commute to work???  The cleanliness is obscene. The trash bins are never overflowing with ruble. The tracks themselves are not littered with debris which of course alleviates the fear of fire. What the fuck??? The absence of litter, the infrequency of delays,  the nice beggars, the cleanliness of the stations, it’s all too much for me to take!!!!