Dear Asshole Critics,
Are your dicks that small? You are writing a review for a super hero movie. Man of Steel stems from a comic book. Not exactly a John Steinbeck, Pulitzer Prize winning piece of literature you elitist nutcase. Superman fly's around in his blue PJ's, firing lazer's out of his eyes at Kryptonian's invading earth, and you want too talk about how "the violence feels empty"? That the top end special effects, and destruction of Metropolis lacks "any sense of humanity." Are you huffing paint? Are you somehow mistaking Superman for Oscar Schindler? Do you honestly think that "only if" Superman's script would have exhibited more soul it would be Oscar worthy? Are you actually doing screen by screen comparisons of Man of Steel with Casablanca while eating dinner with your blow up doll?
I can not understand why some of you critics would even attempt to write a review for a movie like Superman without first reading the comic book. If you write quote, "heavy exposition and a huge amount of super-destructive action that leads to nothing" is a bad thing in a super hero movie, that you obviously have no idea what a comic book is. Lets face it, you spend the majority of your time jerking off to Cookie Roberts voice on NPR. Why don't you go do something useful and go direct a High School musical? At least there your false sense of importance and over analization can be put to good use making some god forsaken schools production of Guys and Dolls the best in county history.
Too complain that Man of Steel has "too many" special effects is like complaining about how your brand new free Ferrari Diablo didn't come with beige interior. I give Zack Snyder credit for even attempting to reboot such a classic tale of alienation and coming of age. He didn't force the issue of originality on this timeless tale, nor stay too devoted to the past. It's Superman for Christ sakes!!! Give us Superman flying around, saving people in unbelievable ways, while trying to find a balance with his own super powers, while battling at least ONE bad ass super villain and I'm good to go. Mission Accomplished in this latest case.
The movie itself was thin on dialogue, but who gives a shit. There's plenty of spaceships, and battle scenes to make you walk out of the theater bowlegged. Visually, its incredible. Sweeping vistas of Krypton during General Zod's failed coup are off the sticks. I was wondering how or if they were going to recreate the Fortress of Solitude. Deciding instead to incorporate the idea that Krypton had a lost colony on Earth, and that one of the lost colony's crafts were buried in the Arctic for 10,000 years played nicely. This and other elements of realism, like the idea that Kryptonian's have a difficult time breathing in Earth's atmosphere, and that Superman's powers comes from his aliens bodies reaction to the radiation of our Sun, were refreshing frankly. I missed Lex Luther of course, but props for incorporating a Lex Corp truck into one of Metropolis's destruction sequences. Overall I was impressed, and never for one minute felt cheated out of my money.
Now I'm not bashing movie critics in general. Everybody's got a right to an informed opinion. However, if you review a movie like The Tree of Life, then you shouldn't review Man of Steel. Plain and simple. Both movies have way different audiences, and come from waaaay different places. Stick to what you know, and don't front. What I know, is that at its heart, Man of Steel is the story of a man trying to find balance between the man who is father wants him to be, and the aspirations he has for himself. Along the way, Superman gets to kick a lot of ass, and save a lot of people in spectacularly shot sequences, with some pretty big name actors playing bit roles just to be a part of it. Who can't relate and love that?
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