The Interview

What a day. Woke up at 3:30 in the morning thinking of demons. The new movie trailer “The Devil Inside Me” was to blame. See here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWPGSbHlI2w After realizing that I wouldn’t be spitting out green bile and contorting my body into shapes that would make a Russian gymnast blush, I had some corn flakes.  With the fear of demonic procession behind, and my hunger assuaged, I could now worry about more important things, namely my first job interview in 6 years.  Though I am a people person, the fear of rejection gives me the bees knees, and zits as big as small children.  Hence a job interview to me is about as horrible as your worst dentist appointment on mushrooms.  Compounding the pain was the fact that later in the day, two Polacks would be coming over to put up wallpaper in our brand new flat.  Time constraints on such a big day can be problematic and give you that not so fresh to death feeling.  Comparable to trying to do Six Flags Theme Park while your wife is in labor.  Further fracturing my chi, was the fact the Voice of Germany started at 8:15 tonight!!  Even though that mattered little, it shows how riddled with confusion I was.  Getting to the new flat to drop off some supplies for my polish babysitting duty later, I quickly changed from old, busted Jim, to hot salty buttery Jim. My suit was crisp, my Donald Trump tie a perfect complement to my brown Steve Maddens. My finger however was not cooperating with the look. It was leaking!!!! A reluctant carrot during the previous night’s dinner prep was too blame. The minimal damage now appeared smeared all over my collar.  Cold water can be a man’s best friend, and thank god it seemed to work. Rushing out the door to the bahnoff with plenty of time, I thought the majority of my crisis’s were over, until I reached for my wallet. Damn.  I was soon in full Olympic stride down the street in the rain.  Making like a Kenyan marathoner up the stairs and then frantically looking for it, and then finding it in the most unlikeliest of places (the bathroom. What the hell?) I raced back down just in the nick of time to catch the train. My body then began to thank me for allowing it to participate in such a magnificent cluster fuck by spasming everywhere all at once. So off I went on bent hubcaps to the center of town.  Right before getting off the bahn, the smelly homeless man who constantly walks along the tracks as though he is looking for his lost contact said hello to me!  After looking at him, I came to the quick realization that I’m in pretty good shape!!! The language schools offices are right in  Frankfurt. The women turned out to be very good at her job, and we talked for about 2 hours.  Hence, it went really well, and she invited me back for the second interview with the head of the Frankfurt office.  Later, back at the residential, the polish dude’s showed up, got to work, and didn’t try and rob me! Somewhere a unicorn has given birth over my joy!